Sunday, December 29, 2013

Goodbye and Welcome

Even though, technically, the holidays aren't completely over, I feel as though they might as well be over. 
The most we do on New Year's Eve is over eat and sit on the couch watching the entire world - or so it seems - celebrate at Times Square in New York. 
There was a time in my life when I wanted to be one of those people in New York City.  A long, long, looooong time ago - but alas, my life's path chose to take me down a different way.
Not necessarily a bad way, but certainly not the way I had envisioned my life to be as a little girl or a teenager with the whole of life waiting for me - like a map with no roads or signs yet posted...
I'm not complaining though. 
I've had a semi normal life, full of regular teenage mishaps and childhood mistakes...
Aside from the way my body is falling apart, and the size of our almost non existent bank account, I can say that I'm generally a happy person with a pretty nice life. 
I mean, it could always get worse, right?
Who am I to complain about not being able to be where all the other people are...  like in New York City listening to music and dancing around just praying I'd be seen on TV. 

I certainly have a lot to be thankful and grateful for. 
I have an amazing husband, and one terrific daughter.  I have lots of friends.  I have a huge family that I get to hang out with on special occasions. 
But, sometimes I feel as though life should have dealt me a better hand. 

A hand that didn't involve my pancreas dying or my feet feeling as though they're on fire - with thumbtacks stuck in them, day in and day out.  How about a hand full of money and a nice big house that isn't falling apart around me? 
Would that have been too much to ask for?

I don't know...
I feel silly complaining...
I mean, it could always get worse... right??

This past year, as I reflect upon the many ups and downs we went through, has definitely been the typical roller coaster that life can sometimes be. 
We have dealt with financial loss, a few pet deaths, some family crap (that has left us just scratching our heads wondering why these people are the way they are) and we've also dealt with ALOT of medical let downs.
I will not get into it here, but something showed up in my blood work this past year that has (and still is) scaring the living daylights out of us.  We don't want to be too worrisome about it, because more testing still needs to be done - which I hear is happening after the new year.  I'm going to say that if the tests don't come back differently or it comes back a lot worse, I will be seeing one of the only specialists that I have been able to avoid thus far.  Let's just pray it doesn't come down to that.

I also have been medicated more than I would've have liked to have been.  I mean, I never wanted to be on such strong opioids at this stage in my life.  Who wants to be in a medicated fog for the duration of their life?  Or at least until they come up with some sort of medical miracle to fix my very painful neuropathy....  Which I am still hoping and praying for.  They have made great strides in getting to the bottom of what causes type 1 diabetes, and therefore have been working on finding a cure for it, so why can't they come up with something for my neuropathy???


I think I'll be happy to say good bye and good riddance to 2013.  The year of family B.S., medical troubles, and financial dire straits. 
Maybe in 2014, we will hit the jackpot.  Not just the monetary kind either.  I'm talking like life taking a completely and utterly new turn.  A turn that leads into a lush, green valley full of berries, wildlife, rainbows, and green grass.   Maybe even a log cabin nestled in the mountain side...

As I ponder what the new year may hold, I am not going to make any new resolutions.  Typically, I make them, and ultimately I just let myself down by not sticking with them... It's best if I don't set the bar too high this year. 

I am hoping for things to get better.  I am praying that things certainly do NOT get any worse.  So, here's to hoping and praying for a better year...

Happy New Year to all my loyal (but still few) blog readers...
May this new year bring everything you've hoped for and may your lives be richly blessed...

Thanks for reading!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Feel free to comment...