I am finally, finally getting my new pain killers today for my wretched neuropathic pain! And it's about time too. I am telling you, I actually had a saw in my hand the other night - threatening, with tears streaming down my face - to saw my own feet off.
Thank God my husband is a loving and compassionate man with more sense than me, because he gently removed said saw from my hands and helped me back to bed and arranged ice packs to surround my burning and painful feet.
I don't think anybody in their right mind would do something like I did.
But, I have to be honest with you, I really wasn't in my right mind. My pain can be very tricky sometimes. There are times that I can sort of deal with it... ya know, just push it to the back of my head. But, man oh man, there are times when I seriously think about killing myself.
And I have tried everything under the sun - from conservative treatments first, to the more hard core medicines - all to no avail!
I think my doctor is annoyed with how many times I've visited him these last few weeks and maybe even more annoyed by how many times I have called. But, I don't care! They are not at home with saws in their hands dangerously close to being on the brink to cutting off their own feet!
In actuality, my doctor called in these new pills for me awhile ago. I was just waiting for my insurance company to get the prior authorization for it run through.
Thanks insurance company. Your lack of compassion and your inability to get things done in a more timely manner had me waiting an entire week and a half in excruciating pain!
So, with these new pills, I hope I gain a little more independence. Maybe I'll be able to walk better, or at least a little longer than I can now. I'd be nice to be able to go bike riding again with my family. And it'd be even nicer to enjoy camping again. Is that too much to ask for? I don't think so.
So, I'll have to let you know how these new pills work. I don't need to take them for any length of time to have them build up in my system. These are true pain killers that I take when I am in pain. And with that in mind, I may just need to take them any time after 3 or 4 pm, cause that's when my pain is at it's worse.
So, in other news - we're still working on that "secret" project. It's so exhilarating to be doing something like this. Like, I am super excited at the prospect of actually getting this thing done. Seeing it through till the end. It's going to mean big changes for us, but I think change doesn't have to be a horrible thing. And this is the sort of change that we'll all appreciate.
Well, thanks so much for reading.
Till next time...