Square of Fire

Yesterday was quite a difficult day here.  We woke up and it was a "normal" day - as most days typically start when the least expected actually happens.  But, yes, yesterday was indeed a "normal" Saturday.  Like most days, I did wake up with a headache and when I went back to bed, I was abnormally sleepy because I had taken one of my rather strong migraine pills.  By the time I got back up, it was a little after 11 in the morning, and John and Olivia had left to go help a family member move.
I decided that since it was raining and kind of a dreary day, I would do one or two loads of laundry.  Washed the first load and put in the dryer, then proceeded to make lunch for myself.
As I was just finishing up my delicious lunch, I had started to "smell" something weird.
I immediately looked at the candle that was lit on the coffee table, thinking that maybe a tissue had caught it's flame, but had realized that wasn't where the smell was coming from.  I looked out at the kitchen stove to see if I had left one of the burners on.  As I stood up to look at the stove, the smell instantly got stronger and I could actually see smoke rising to the ceiling in the kitchen.
That's when my heart started to pound.  My throat went insanely dry and my eyes were darting around everywhere looking for the source of the smoke and the smell.


Then it hit me.


The dryer had stopped running.  I couldn't hear it anymore.
I started back the hallway and almost passed out from the smoke!  It was so thick back the hallway!  I walked further back to where the laundry area was, and found the source of the troubles.  There was smoke literally pouring out of the top of the dryer.  Just billowing out of it!  I was mortified!

We always joked about burning the place down for a nice big fat insurance check, but never in a million years would I want to lose everything we owned!  I mean, we may live in a house that is a genuine P.O.S. and it may be falling apart around us, but it's also where all of our home videos are.  It's also where 13 years of memories were made.  It's also the place that we come home to every night and wake up to every morning.  So, sure the grass can always be greener, but I really didn't want to find out how green it was yesterday.

So, I picked up my cell, dialed 911 and as calmly as possible, explained to the nice lady on the other end what was going on.  She asked all the normal questions.
"Did I see any flames?"  No.
"Is there anyone else in the house?"  No, well, yes.  I have a Siamese cat that has suddenly went AWOL.
"Can you safely leave the home?"  Yes.

As I stepped outside, I ended up dropping my phone and it shattered the case around the actual phone.  The phone itself wasn't damaged, so I picked it back up and realized the 911 wasn't there anymore.  I just started hearing the sirens so I called John.  For some reason, as soon as John picked up and I heard his voice, I started to cry.  I mean, I started bawling!   I had a very difficult time telling my husband that all of our worldly possessions might be a large, heaping, smoking pile of ash in a few minutes.
Against the 911's dispatcher's advise, I decided to take one last look in the house for Apollo after I had hung up from John and he assured me that he was on his way home.
I still couldn't find my cat!  I was so worried for him!  I mean, we had just lost Molson a few weeks ago and I couldn't bear the thought of saying good bye to the last remaining Olley household pet, especially to a fire!

SIGH...

Anyhow, the firetrucks had finally arrived.  I was standing outside, shivering from the rain, being held up by my walking cane, and I flagged them down.  About 4 or 5 trucks and 30 firemen had showed up.  I spoke with the first one, explained to him where the fire was, where the laundry area was and that I had a cat inside.

He and his partner entered the house and I stood there and watched my neighbors all pile out of the homes to stare at the shut in from down the road.  Yes, me...

I couldn't help but wipe a few tears from my eyes, as I listened to the firemen bang on things, and walk in and out of my house, sometimes one at a time, sometimes 3.  They would come out and ask me a few things, like how could they open up the back door, to which I sarcastically replied (and I don't know why I found it odd that a fireman couldn't figure out how to unlock a simple door) "Uh, you just unlock it and push out."
One other fireman came out and asked me where the power box was, and I had to explain to another man that he had to go into the master bedroom and look to the left of the closet and he'll find the case.
A few minutes later, Olivia was standing right in front of me!  I started crying and grabbed her and hugged her so tightly that she told me she couldn't breathe.  I saw John and did the exact same thing to him.
We got to a point in this whole ordeal that we just had to stand there and watch what was happening.
John and I just stayed there, his arms wrapped around me, and I had a hold of Olivia.

About 20 or so minutes later, the chief of Ladder 49 walked over and told us we could safely go back in the house.  We were to turn the "investigation" over to our insurance company.  And that the fire had actually started inside the dryer.  The way he talked about it led us to believe that there must have been a short in one of the fuses and that it wasn't from lint or anything like that.

I won't know the full story to we get a hold of our insurance company tomorrow.  Until then, we have to do our laundry elsewhere and try to fix what was damaged.  Most of it was minimal damage, but the emotional scars will take some time to heal.

I hope that God has nothing else in store for us to deal with.  Between all of us getting so sick, Molson dying, the fire that almost took out our home, I am not sure if I can deal with much more drama.  I have so many health issues and just know that all of this catastrophe that seems to love us is making me feel so much worse...
Tomorrow, first thing, I am going to call State Farm and find out what the next step is regarding a new washer and dryer.
sigh...
Thanks for reading and take care!

ps - Apollo was hiding under our bed in the master bedroom.  He was freaked out, but otherwise unscathed...

(I don't have an actual photo of the dryer as it was burning up, but I googled searched for a dryer fire image and found one that will show you what the firemen had encountered but were able to put out in time)














This is NOT our dryer, ours is actually an over/under washer dryer set...

A Brief Post.

I apologize for my absence and would like to thank you all for continuing to read my blog, even if I'm not always posting.
I know many of you are on Facebook with me and know what has been going on, but for the rest, I will just say that life has gotten a little busy and slightly scary - medically speaking, for me anyhow.
I think in April alone, between Olivia and myself, we have 6 different doctor's appointments lined up.  Starting April 1st, I will have a really nice Medicare Assurance plan that will help pay for everything that my original Medicare wouldn't pay.  So, I am going to take advantage of that and get myself to the eye doctor to get new glasses, and to have my retinopathy looked at.  I also have two sleep studies to go to in April.  My first one is two weeks into the month.  I can't wait to see the looks on their faces (I probably won't, but I can imagine) while they look over the brain wave activity when I'm having one of my night terrors... LOL!

Family wise - John and Olivia are doing well.  We are still trying to get over losing our buddy Molson.  But, with each new day comes a little bit more of "normalcy".  Which is always a good thing.  We do still hear him thought.  Throughout the house.  For instance, I know I woke up the other night and heard him lapping up water from his bowl.  And we both hear him walking across the kitchen floor.  Sure, he's gone.  But, how gone is he if we still continue to hear him?  (I put a video link that I made in honor of our  Molson in this post)



As far as other "family" goes... Well, let's just say that aside from "unread and quickly deleted" texts that someone tried to send to John, it's been quiet on that front too.  Which is really refreshing!   I think that they may be getting a little antsy because it's been so long since they have had a real conversation with any of us.  Although it doesn't have to be that way, they certainly make it hard to have it any other way...  It's ashame.  It truly is.  But, I guess it's best that it's this way, at least for now.  Emotions are pretty raw on both sides and something might get said that shouldn't have been said and then things will go backwards instead of forwards.  And nobody wants that.

So, aside from some medical issues and some doctor's appointments, life has been generally quiet around here.  Nothing much to report.  So, nothing much to blog about.  I will however, post a blog after my first sleep study is over.  Apparently, it'll be like staying in a hotel.  Differences being, of course, that this particular hotel lacks in room service, there's no pool, and I can forget about any sort of concierge service as well.  I can look forward to being hooked up to loads of electrodes, having my whole night recorded, both audio and video, and I will be getting my own nurse to tuck me in and wake me up at 5:30 AM.

So, until then, thanks for reading and take care!

Can't Wait for Spring!!!!

The last few weeks have been so hard for us.  Here at home, we are still (sort of) getting over some illnesses, still mourning the loss of our Molson, and still trying to do the everyday things - that at times, seems like an impossible task for the day.
While we continue to fight some of these uphill battles, we have are continuing to lean on each other though.  Olivia is pitching in when it comes to the household chores, and John is continually making dinners and working every day.  Since my help is limited - meaning, I can't be as able to help out physically - I'm always there to talk to, cry to, and lend my listening ears.  I always carry a pack of clean tissues or facial wipes in my purse, and lately, both John and Olivia have needed them.  Of course, I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that I too have had to dig around my purse for them as well.

So, you see, things have been a little "abnormal" around here.  

This fine Saturday morning, I just sat down with my first cup of coffee and am sipping it while I listen to Apollo eat his morning meal and Olivia in her room singing along with a song (that I'm sure only teenagers enjoy).  John is just now stirring and I have a feeling that he too will be pouring a cup of coffee.

We have no real big plans for the weekend.  Although, I have recruited verbal promises from the two of them to help out with some light cleaning today.  Nothing too strenuous, but the house could definitely use a 
"tidying" up.  I am going to run (hmmm.... scratch that.  I'm going to drive instead) to the store for some Lysol antibacterial spray and then thoroughly douse the house in it.  None of us wants the sicknesses that we have been fighting to ever come back!  

The weather is improving somewhat, and we might see our first 60 degree day for the year... Alas, it will be a short lived warm up, as John and I have heard about an impending winter storm in the forecast for Sunday into Monday.  UGH!  Go away snow!  Nobody wants you!!!!

Anyway, as the weather improves, so does our anticipation of going camping again this year!  I, for one, cannot wait to get back into the hammock and sleep the night away!  Hammock sleeping is truly the only time I get a good 8-9 hours of sleep - like EVER!  So, yes, I'm quite excited about getting back out there and enjoying nature at it's finest again!  John is constantly looking over our supplies - some of them new, some new-ish, and some we have had for some time.  We enjoy camping on the river, and I know that John is really anxious to get out the canoes again.  Last summer, I spent many weekends on some of the islands with John.  And, each time we went, we had such fun!  So, yeah, I cannot wait to get back out there.  

*(FYI - I really miss our Molson.  But, if there was a silver lining in his passing, it's the fact that we don't have to worry about finding a sitter for him or running home to let him out or feed him anymore.  He always hated camping, so bringing him along was always out of the question)*


Well, I suppose that is it for now.  I will try to get back on and blog again real soon.

As always, thanks for reading.  

John captured a rare moment, me actually sleeping.  HA!  But, only because hammock sleeping is the best sleeping ever!

May You Truly Rest In Peace Our Beloved Molson

What a difficult morning it is here in our household.

When I finally opened up my eyes this morning, the sun was shining, I could hear birds singing, and I could feel Apollo at my side still slumbering away.

What a false sense of a good morning that the bright sunshine brings.

Those words will probably not escape my lips today.  I am unsure as to how many mornings I will feel this way.

I do know that this morning may be the toughest.  Just like coming home last night, and not seeing him greet us with his wagging tail and (smiling) happy face.  

Oh!  What a hole there is in my heart!  He was such a great companion!  Even at the end, as he lay in his chair just staring at us from across the room with his big innocent eyes - he'd patiently wait for us to finish with our slice of pizza or he'd just sit and wait for us to become full from what was on our plates. 

Yes, our Molson was a great companion.  He really did bring lots of joy and laughter to our otherwise boring lives.

There are a million different memories that I could pluck from right now - trips to the Homestead as he ran after the stick, ball, or rope.  Trips to Monacacy Hill as he begrudgingly followed us up the unending hill anxious to get back to the jeep to rest his legs, but stayed happy because he was out and about with his family.  The many times when our own cat would get bored with that red laser and he would just chase that thing around, bumping into everything in his path so he could just kill it.  The countless number of people he was willing to kill for us just because they were knocking on our front door.  The few times we had him camping with us that he completely just wimped out on.  (LOL!  He really hated tent camping)  The amount of family and friends who told us just how cute he was despite how big his head was and how mean he might look to a complete stranger.  The many kisses on my face that I have absentmindedly wiped off.  The white spot he left on the chair in our living room.  

There are many many more memories that I have with him... That we have with him.  

Coping with the loss of our Mol Mol will not be something I will enjoy doing.  As I type this, I cry.  As I tired to sleep last night, I cried.  As there is nobody begging to be let out to go to the bathroom, I will cry.  

My John and my Olivia will be joining me as I cry.  And that makes it hurt that much worse.

The Olley's have suffered a great loss yesterday.  

Our Molson will not be forgotten.  He was a loved buddy.  He was the world's awesomest pizza lover.  
I will miss that big head of his.  I will forever miss that bark of his.  

Molson, may you rest in the most peaceful of peace's.  Run around in your Dog Heaven.  Tell Shy-Anne, Mary, Jasmine, Midnight, Hawthorne, Chopper - and every other good dog up there "hi" for us.  

We love you Molson... 

Is 13 an Unlucky Number?

Tomorrow, my infant is turning 13.
Well...
That's how it feels, anyhow.

When did she turn 1, or even 10?

I can tell you in vivid detail - well, as vivid as things get when one is on her death bed.  (Which I was, by the way.  I am not just being facetious)  But, with great structure and many facts, I can recall the hours I spent in the hospital before, during, and after our little girls birth.
In fact, I had posted about the traumatic events that took place 13 years ago in Philadelphia, PA.
You can read all about it here
http://sylviaolley.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-birth-of-princess.html


Anyway, Olivia is going to be a teenager tomorrow.  And while I am thrilled that she is entering this stage of  life, I am a little nervous about her entering this stage in her life.
You see, I was once a hormonal and (at times) thoughtless teenager myself.
Every time I say this to Olivia, I either get a roll of the eyes or an exaggerated sigh - as if to say, "Hurry up Mom!  I've heard this one before!"

When I was a teenager I was boy crazy, emotional, and full of self doubt.  While trying to fit in with "the other girls" I was constantly changing my look and bending my morals and convictions all in the name of belonging.  So, I really never took the time to find myself.
I usually "jumped off of that proverbial bridge" with all of my other friends.  It wasn't until much later that I finally started paving the way for who I am today.  But, back then, with my head full of the need to be accepted and not judged, I made many mistakes and poor decisions.  Most of those decisions weren't "life altering", thank God.  But, looking back on who I was back then and the crazy things I did, I sometimes wish I could do it all over - if only just to change some of the tinier things.
But, when I look at our daughter - the Olivia Joy that we have raised thus far - I am beginning to recognize some things that she is certainly doing better than I ever did.
Olivia is genuinely a sweet girl.  She is eager to please (and sometimes that can be a bad thing).  She is confident in what she wants to do with her life.  She is as loyal as they come.  And she is just downright beautiful inside - and out.


Sure, she has her - what I like to call - moments of pure insanity.  These are the moments when all of the good is instantly replaced with almost the polar opposites of what a "good girl" would be doing.  However, Olivia is quick to ask for forgiveness and is usually (not always, but most of the time)  appetent to make things right again.  Olivia is not one to hold a grudge.

I know that there will be fights and disagreements along the way.  I also know that Olivia will probably make me want to rip every hair off of my head.  But, I also know that John and I stand united in our parenting and furthermore - and maybe more important - we have told every lie in the book so that we could be "stupid teenagers".  I have no doubt that we will come out of the end of the "teenager tunnel" more wise and more understanding as to who Olivia is and who she is to become, albeit with slightly less hair on our heads.

So, tomorrow morning, when John and I get up to wish our beautiful and amazing daughter a very happy thirteenth birthday, I will try to hold back the tears.  I will hug her, give her a kiss on her cheek and then I will put the candle in her cupcake so I can sing - with great pride - Happy Birthday.

FYI - being that her birthday is on a weekday, her actual birthday cake will be eaten tomorrow evening, at my parents house and certainly after school lets out.  The cupcake is just so she can start the day off right.

So, happy 13th birthday to my Olivia.  My joy of joys.  One of the keepers of my heart.  And my life's true and ever lasting happiness.

Olivia and me

Olivia and John

Seriously? Boy, that sucks.

This morning I woke up and smiled.  I couldn't believe what I was feeling - or - not feeling, in this case.  My pain was gone!  My feet didn't feel as though they were on fire with hot shards of glass stuck in them.  My legs didn't feel like they were going to explode from unbearable pain and agony.  My back - my amazing back didn't have that familiar "coming and going" pain that it always has.
I mean, how is it possible!  How could I wake up and not feel a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g.???
I usually start the day with a handful of pills and some insulin.  This morning, I can at least leave two of those pills out of my hands.  I mean, I don't need to take pain killers if I have no pain, right?

When I stepped into the shower, I actually enjoyed the warmth of the water as it cascaded down my to my feet and I took the time to stand there and I watched the water flow down the drain - instead of just hurrying up my shower so I could get out and get off my feet again.
I stood in front of the mirror and I slowly and meticulously took the hair brush to the all of its curls and took my time making myself  "knot free" and pretty for John.  Since I had no pain today, I was able to take the hair dryer to it and actually stand there and dry my hair.
After my time in the bathroom, I went out to the kitchen - without the use of a cane!  I couldn't believe it!  I could walk down my hallway and not be in any kind of pain whatsoever!  I slowly opened up the refrigerator and got my coffee creamer out.  It was weird not having to prop my cane onto the counter so I could lean into my fridge and get it out.  What was weirder is that I didn't have to check my blood sugar!  My type 1 diabetes was gone!
I cannot tell you how good it felt - that absolutely freeing feeling - of drinking a cup of coffee without having to stick my finger first so I could bolus for it!
That's right!  No more insulin pump for this girl!  I no longer have a machine attached to me via plastic needle and tubing with insulin running through it all day long.  I cannot begin to describe my exact feeling at this moment.  I mean, I could actually, if I wanted to - go to bed totally in the nude!  No worrying about wearing pants or at the very least, a sports bra so I can clip my pump onto something.

*I probably will be clothed, though.  I mean, it is winter outside.*

As I was sipping my coffee this morning, I couldn't stop smiling.  I can go back out to the kitchen - again, cane free and pain free - and pour a big bowl of cereal - ANY CEREAL I WANT!  I no longer have to measure how much cereal I am putting into my bowl.  I can just pour and pour.  And I can add the milk as well, without having to worry about the bolus-ing I would inevitably have to do to use it on my cereal.
I then started to think about the rest of my day.  What would I do?  I could do anything!  I mean, I no longer hurt.  I don't have to worry about my cane and how far I could walk without crying because of the broken glass in my feet.
I decided that I would take my dog, Molson, out for a long walk around the neighborhood.  I mean, the last time I did that, I think it was back in 2011.  He's due for a nice long walk.
So, I finished my delicious breakfast, and I grabbed the leash, coaxed my dog off the chair and to his amazement (and mine) we went for a walk.  It felt great to walk my dog again!  We both missed it!  And he was so happy that we had that time together.  As was I.
I went back into the house and decided I was going to go for a drive.  I grabbed my keys and my first stop was to the middle school.  I picked up Olivia after giving a lame story about a forgotten doctors appointment, and for the first time in almost three years, I went to the mall with Olivia and didn't have to worry about needing a wheelchair.  We walked around the mall for hours!  I would've taken her to the park had it not been below freezing outside.  But, the mall was just as fun!  We did some serious girl shopping!  This store and that store.  We tried on dozens of outfits and giggled and stopped at the cafeteria for some girl gossip and lunch.  We had such a great time!!!
After we got back from the mall, I wasn't in any pain - I mean, I could go out to the car all three trips it took to bring all the bags in and not be begging Olivia for her help.  Besides, she was too busy ripping tags off of all of her merchandise to even care anyway.
I excitedly called John and told him the good news!  Of course, after hearing my almost unbelievable story of not being a type 1 diabetic and not having any more pain, he rushed home, just to take me back to the bedroom, lock its door, and... well... you know...
Anyway, after we were done - you know - we decided to take a vacation.  A vacation that didn't need to be planned around insulin, wheelchair accessibility, or pain pills having to be divided out to how many days we were going to be away.  We decided to go down south.   Where the weather was warmer and where I could do some serious "in-the-sun" walking.  And did we walk!!!  We walked for hours and hours and we shopped for souvenirs and we did some snorkeling and we did some deep sea fishing.  We went out to dinner and we ordered a big bottle of champagne.  We had reason to celebrate.  I was a free woman!

No longer was I tied to the house.  No more did I need to worry about my blood sugar or how many carbs there were in my food.  No more did I have to be concerned about the wheel chair and where it would fit and where it wouldn't.  No more did I to keep track of what pain killer I was taking or what day I would need to apply a new pain patch. No more did I worry about the functionality of my kidneys or how long my eyesight would last.   I was pain free and no longer a type 1 diabetic!
So, yes, we definitely had reason to celebrate.

I can't remember the last time I was this happy.  My whole life was again at peace.  I had no physical worries of any sort!  I had so much fun with Olivia and an incredible and romantic vacation with John.

I cannot remember the last time I was this happy.  

Seriously, when was it??





Then.




I woke up.




It was all just a dream.

Our Apollo (a cheesy little poem for my Siamese kitten)

You came to us tiny and scared
You looked at me with your blue eyes
Trusting and so confused
We took you in because we cared...

We knew your life was bad before
We wanted to show you something better
So we took you in and cleaned you up
But, the first few days, you hid in a drawer.

After getting to know us a bit better
You started to come around more often
Sometimes just to eat or play,
You certainly had being a kitten down to the letter.

Now you purr, cuddle, and love
And we couldn't ask for a better cat.
We have found a friend for life in you
You're like an angel sent from above...

Even as you climb onto our backs
And chase the red dot around everywhere
We still love everything about you
Even your silly and off the wall playful acts.

Apollo, it seems you're always on a mission
But it's never to chase those rats.
Your ears are slightly bigger than normal
They allow you to hear my voice and listen...

When you nap with me during the day
Or cuddle with me during the night
You are a pretty cool cat
Full of strange personality, I'd say.

Thanks for making my frowns go away
And thanks for keeping me company
I love you so very much Apollo
Now, go kill a mouse!
And in this house you can stay...